The husband left a receipt on the passenger seat of the car.
I idly glanced at it. It was a receipt from the local petrol station and said ‘Euromillions £2.00’.
To my knowledge, the husband has never bought a Euromillions ticket in his life, let alone at 7.12am on a Friday morning.
In fact, the man I thought was my husband wouldn’t do that.
I sat and stared at the receipt for a while and thought, ‘My husband is a stranger to me.’
Entering the house, I immediately pounced on the husband.
‘What did you buy from the petrol station at 7.12am on Friday morning?’ I said clutching the receipt to my chest and sounding like Miss Marple, uncovering her spouse’s secret gambling habit.
‘A coffee?’ said the husband.
I showed him the receipt. We both stared in at it in bemusement.
‘I bought a £2.00 coffee from the machine,’ said the husband. ‘I’ve never bought a Euromillions ticket in my life!’
We pondered this for a few moments.
‘I know what’s happened,’ said the husband. ‘You know that nice Asian man at the petrol station. Well, he’s clearly putting coffees through as Euromillions tickets – and then claiming the ticket for himself. It’s the perfect scam!’
‘He wouldn’t!’ I said, aghast. ‘He’s such a nice man.’
‘He’s a true gent,’ agreed the husband, ‘true gent’ being his catch-all expression for any kind and chivalrous stranger. ‘He’s always so nice to old women too.’
‘I bet he’s nice to old ladies,’ I said, grimly. ‘He’s probably waiting for his moment to PLUNDER their building society accounts.’
‘He probably chose me as a victim because he knows I’m so gormless,’ said the husband, sadly. I didn’t disagree.
Later, the husband announced: ‘Actually, I hope the nice Asian man does win the Euromillions.’
‘But not through illegal means!’ I cried. ‘If you spot him driving past in a Ferrari next week, you’ll know he’s won – but technically that’s someone else’s money. He’s a professional conman!’
‘I’m going to get to the bottom of this,’ said the husband, fishing £2 out of the loose change bowl and scooping up his car keys.
He roared off in the direction of the petrol station.